flawed_karma: (Default)
This journal is Friends Only.

Why? I'm the first to admit my life isn't that interesting. I don't do great things and I'm not some celeb, or important person. I'm just plain old me. But I do like my privacy and I've had stalkers who have not appreciated my views on many topics come to my journal and start problems.
  • I care who reads my words.
  • I care to have a small group of friends I know and that know me.
  • My LJ-Friends know and share my interests.
  • I know or have met many of my LJ friends in real life.
If you'd like to friend me, please comment below and say why. Did you read one of my fics, or like the training advice I offered for your dog? Did I post something meaningful somewhere, or maybe we chatted in comments somewhere?

Tell me where you "met" me and why you think we'd be good friends.

I prefer quality to quantity.

Thank you,

[livejournal.com profile] flawed_karma 

Why is that my user name? I'm imperfect, flawed. And it is my destiny to overcome my flaws and become a better person. Just not today.


flawed
/flɔd/ Flawed
Pronunciation [flawd]
–adjective
characterized by flaws; having imperfections: a flawed gem; a seriously flawed piece of work.

kar⋅ma
/ˈkɑrmə/  Karma
Pronunciation [kahr-muh]
–noun
1.  Hinduism, Buddhism. action, seen as bringing upon oneself inevitable results, good or bad, either in this life or in a reincarnation: in Hinduism one of the means of reaching Brahman. Compare bhakti (def. 1), jnana.
2.  Theosophy. the cosmic principle according to which each person is rewarded or punished in one incarnation according to that person's deeds in the previous incarnation.
3.  fate; destiny.
4.  the good or bad emanations felt to be generated by someone or something.
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 

flawed_karma: (Default)
I can't thank you enough.

Over 300.00 came in in donations today. Ms. Robot, Ms. T., Ruric. My God.

People spread the word, and donations have come in from 27 states, and 3 countries.

I can't explain what this means to me. To River. To keep her as a working dog, I needed nearly a thousand dollars when all was said and done.

And the world, literally, responded. Dozens of donations came in, in dribs ans drabs, in single digits, double digits and even 100.00 from Ms. T in ADDITION to an earlier donation.

I now have all the money to cover the 3-5 extra visits and check ups, the medication, and even some left over "in case" anything else happens.

I swear on all I hold holy to pay this back somehow. Many who donated said to just pay it forward, and I swear I will. I will donate time, since I don't have money.


Once I recover from today's back surgery, I will add hours o my schedule at the local ASPCA and work with their harder to place dogs. I will offer to give half price group lessons to the new owners, hold them at the facility, and donate all income to the shelter. I will donate my grooming experience to make the dogs clean and looking good.

I will do all I can and more to pay this back, then pay it forward. Every day I will endeavor to do some kind of good or charitable deed.

I'm crying too hard to type properly so thank God for spell-check.

Thank you. Thank all of you, thank God for the people I have never met, but love through the words we share regularly, the laughs, the virtual shoulder to cry on, the virtual hugs, the love, and the laughter.

I can't pick any of you out of a crowd (except the few I've met) and yet you were still so generous, so giving, so encouraging.

Thank you, from all that I am, from my heart and soul. Thank you. I will offer up prayers in your name, light a candle. I will never forget this tremendous, worldwide effort to help us.

And each morning, when I wake, I will give thanks for all of you, for having River, and the generosity of people I don't even KNOW donating money to keep her by my side, healthy, hale and sound so she can keep working.

Please know you have all changed my life, made me less cynical, more trusting, more hopeful. I had lost my faith in humanity after being tortured by my peers as a child. All of you, no matter the size of the donation, restored it. I went into surgery smiling today. (And that was before the drugs, thank you.)

Surgery went well. I've got the anesthesia hangover. And more money than I need to keep River safe and healing properly.

Thank you. Thank you, thank you. If River could talk instead of snore at the moment (her nightly painkiller knocks her out) she'd be thanking you herself.

So, from the bottom of my heart, I sincerely, honestly and humbly thank each and every one of you for whatever you did to help. From spreading the word to donating, from sending me a note of hope to the long letters of shared experiences.

You all have changed my life, made me a better, more hopeful person. And you've given River a chance to keep working. which she loves. When you bring out her vest, her tail starts to wag ridiculously fast and she wriggles and wiggles. It's a beautiful sight.

And because of all of you, it's a sight I'll keep seeing every day for a long, long time.

Thank you.
flawed_karma: (Shrek 2 - please?)
Medication was not discussed when we scheduled the surgery.

It's added another $200.00 to the total. And that's with a very, VERY generous 1/3 off per refill.

I spoke to my doctor earlier and I'm not allowed to skip ANY of my crazy pills, unless we want the "Wishes to stab people with a duck knife" to "Stabs people in real life to rid the planet of the stupid*

So.. I'm begging again. Help me, please. I have one week of samples for her antibiotic and the pain killer.

I need 3 more weeks of antibiotics at $50.00 per 14 pills.

Is there anyone left that wants to/ can afford to help? Mu husband is getting very worried since now it's take care of my devoted Service Dog and let the bills suffer, too. I bought her and trained her myself. No "program certificate" = no financial help. And again, since she's privately trained. no group or organization will step up to help.







Thank You

Sep. 11th, 2012 05:21 pm
flawed_karma: (Default)
All posts about River may be directly quoted to your LJ if you're updating for donors/friends. Or you can tell them to friend me and they'll go on the River Recovery list, they'll be free to look up old River tags, etc.

River's ear post-op (under cut for the squeamish)
River's Ear Flap )

Thanks to everyone who has donated, sent thoughts, prayers, emails, offered comfort, shared stories of their own dogs and their aural hematomas and told me about how they or someone they knew/loved had a service dog and knew how vital River is to me.

So thanks, everyone.

Since no one wants to be paid back, River and I will continue to sell belly rubs and send this money to various licensed non profit charities, or concentrate on a single cause such as Canine Companions for Independence or The Guiding Eye or some other assistance charity.

Thank you for everything. You have no idea how much the generosity of random strangers has helped make a terrifying time easier.

Any monies left over once she is proclaimed healed and the stitches/drain removed will be donated to the Bruiser Memorial - A non-profit foundation to raise money to combat and eventually cure canine cancer.

There are no words eloquent enough, thoughtful enough or even grateful enough for me to thank you. So once again, thank you for your support of all kinds. I doubt I could have made it through all of this without each every one of you.

So thank you, from the bottom of my cold, miserable and blackened heat,
flawed_karma: (Default)
ETA: For a Thank You post and a way to keep a eye on Rivers's progress, go HERE! (http://flawed-karma.livejournal.com/216851.html)

I very rarely do this for anyone, let alone myself.

You all know I am disabled and River is my service dog . I depend on her for my life, for my freedom.

However, she needs surgery. Quickly. She has something called an Aurula Hemotoma. In other words, a bunch of blood vessels in her ear flap popped and it's swollen to the size of a small lemon.

Needless to say, like the rest of the free world, we're in dire financial straights. Her surgery will cost betweenn 225. and 300.

I don't have it. My credit cards are maxed out. I can scrape together about 175.00 by scrimping on some of my meds, but then there's the other 125.00 (and up) for the remaining cost or surgery, medications, etc.

If left unattended, this could spread to her auditory canal and make her go deaf.

Please. I hate to ask, I feel so useless for asking, by can anyone help? A dollar, two dollars.. I swear for every dollar I get, I will do a random act of goodness and kindness to pay you back, or pay you as money issues clear up.

Normally this wouldn't be an issue, but I have surgery on Thursday  and the copay for that is 500.00. I've been waiting 4 months to afford the co-pay, so you can see where I am.

Please, please help me keep my life normal and help me get River's surgery.

A dollar can make a huge difference, please. If I could, I would get on my knees and beg. But I -NEED- River in my life, I can't use her if she goes deaf in one ear. Please. I'm crying as I write this. I have asked you all for so much over the years. Friendship, encouragement,and now money. I'm sorry, I don't know what else to do. And there's no time to try and find groups that donate goods and services or medical care for service dogs. I can't emphasize how important this is. She could go deaf, the ear may turn to gangrene.

Please, help us. Help her.

ETA: I just spoke to the Vet. They don't offer discounts to anyone except Senior Citizens. And the total of the surgery has gone up, nearly doubling by the time they add in the mandatory rabies shot, a compete blood panel, a heartworm tests and other required pre-surgical testing, etc.

Now the total is now 410.00 with tax. it's a terrifying. I can't afford it. I'm so damn scared I'll lose hr as a working dog.

THANK YOU!!! All of you wonderful people. I now have 412.00 coming directly to my checking account. This covers EVERY THING she needs. Anything after that we can afford. I am near tears. No, scratch that. I AM crying. Thank you, all of you. i am stunned. River can have her surgery and I don't have to worry about a thing. Thank you all!

I promise the next time I see a post for someone in need on LJ, I'll send in what I can.

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ETA 3: The vet said the price could change based on what they find. So it could go up. It never goes down. Dammit, I was so excited..





flawed_karma: (Default)
Originally posted by [livejournal.com profile] amethyst_hunter at THIS IS FECKING AWESOME.
Originally posted by [livejournal.com profile] theljstaff at Help Us Support Planned Parenthood


Join us in standing up for reproductive health and education. Planned Parenthood, the organization that delivers reproductive health care, sex education and information to millions of people worldwide, has come under fire in the U.S. lately, with many politicians on both state and federal level seeking to end funding (and in a few cases succeeding).

During the month of May, you can send a specially designed Planned Parenthood vgift to your friends to help support this cause. (And if you need someone to send it to, [livejournal.com profile] frank is always happy to receive gifts!) There are three variations ($1, $5 and $10) for you to choose from, but they'd all look good on your profile when your friends know that you stand by something so important.

                    

Thank you all for your help in our support for Planned Parenthood. This promotion ends June 1, 2012; LiveJournal is not affiliated with Parent Parenthood. For more information about Planned Parenthood, please visit: http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

-The LiveJournal Team

(If you'd like to help spread the word that we're raising funds for Planned Parenthood, you can crosspost this entry in your own journal or community by using the repost button below!)
flawed_karma: (Default)
This is a rare public post. Please feel free to link to it in yor own journals or relevant communities.



Musing the First - Free Speech and Responsibility

Free speech isn't free, and free speech should not be confused with hate speech. You are always entitled to your opinions, but using them to incite hatred and violence doesn't make you cool. It makes you as guilty as those who act on your words.

Think twice before posting your hatred. People can and will act on it. There is no excuse to threaten an entire population because you don't agree with them. I have a strong dislike of Republicans, but I will use my words to fight them, not incite violence towards them.

I am better than that, and so are you.


Musing the Second - Mitt Romney's Stance on Women and Equal Pay

When asked by a reporter if the Romney campaign supported equal pay for women, the response was, "Um, we'll get back to you on that."

We know where Obama stands. Why can't this simple question be answered by a campaign spokesperson? The only conclusion that can be drawn from that is no, Mitt Romney does not support equality for women in the workplace. Yet more anti-women sentiment and a chilling undertone of what the GOP has planned if they take the White House this year. (1)

Musing the Third - On Abortion & Women's Health

Roe v. Wade was not the beginning of women having abortions. It was the END of women dying trying to get abortions via self-abortion tinctures, deliberately drinking too much, coat hangers and other primitive means. It took abortion from a dangerous, often self or friend administered procedure from seedy rooms and disgusting, dangerous conditions to a hospital like environment with professionals performing a necessary, needed service.

Keep the women you love safe. Keep fighting to keep the Government out of a personal, private medical decision. If you don't think the GOP is waging a war on women, take close look at the legislation being passed in GOP states to severely restrict access, not just to abortion, but to inexpensive preventive care including mammograms, PAP smears and BC.

If you think abortion is costing precious lives now, wait until women are dying from desperation of trying to self abort with recipes from the internet or wire hangers in a back alley, underground clinic. Women who are already whole people with lives, and possibly other children to care for. Abortion is not birth control, it is a LAST RESORT for desperate women that need to take drastic action to save their lives economically, professionally, personally or medically.


I personally had an abortion at 26, when I got "oopsed" by a failure of BC pills and antibiotics. No one had warned me. I am not proud of this fact, but I am not ashamed. Given my age, my new marriage, our very tenuous financial situation and my multiple health issues that would make it dangerous to carry a fetus to term, it was the best decision for me.

That abortion likely saved my life. And it saved the child (if it had survived healthy and whole from the cocktail of steroids, narcotics and mood altering medications I had to take regardless of pregnancy) from a disinterested mother that would have carried on a cycle of abuse and neglect. My husband had no desire to be a father, and I am now sterilized.

I'm telling you, my friends, this because women, our bodies, and our right to make decisions about our own healthcare are being systemically stripped from us, state by state, law by law.

Please stand with me and with Planned Parenthood, and stand up for your rights as a woman to determine your own destiny and identity. If the GOP continues legislation on the mass scale they're doing now, all women will lose. We can't be silent. Find out your local, state and Congresspersons and Senators and send them actual, real letters by post voicing your opposition to Personhood Laws and asking them to stand against this assault on women's rights.

If your state if considering a "Personhood Law" that gives a fetus, viable or not, alive or not, the "right" to be born, even if it is dead upon delivery, and dead inside your body for months. The reasoning? If livestock can carry a dead baby to term, so can women.(2)

Please, even if you reject abortion as an option for yourself, consider how many women each year desperately need the procedure to protect themselves, their bodily autonomy, their job, income, and ability to support current or future children. Stop and think. If your daughter, niece, aunt, or mother was raped and turned up pregnant, would you not want her to have the option of aborting the clump of cells invading her like a parasite and taking over her life for at least eighteen years?

I beg of you to speak out against this war on women. And yes, this IS war because WOMEN ARE DYING due to inadequate access to medical care, birth control, and education.

Thank you for your time.

Debate in encouraged, but I ask you keep it polite, without flaming or name calling.

Anyone who flames will be banned and the offensive comment deleted and/or the comment thread frozen.
We are all adults here and I expect you to act like it.
You may disagree strongly with anything I've said, or everything. but please behave respectfully towards me and the others you are speaking with and keep your comments free of personal attacks. I will not censor rational, well thought out comments, only those that demean, bully, or personally attack another poster. Anonymous commenting is disabled. If you feel strongly enough to comment, you can be identified by your LJ Name, Open ID or other means of log in.


References:

(1) http://www.businessweek.com/news/2012-04-11/romney-woos-women-as-campaign-stumbles-on-equal-pay-issue
(2) http://www.addictinginfo.org/2012/03/09/georgia-republican-compares-women-to-livestock-video/




flawed_karma: (Default)
Originally posted by [livejournal.com profile] kythryne at internet powers, activate!
Okay, people. I need you to take this viral, and fast.

We know someone in upstate New York who needs a good custody lawyer ASAP. I'm not at liberty to go into details publicly, but this woman is very afraid that her abusive boyfriend is going to get sole custody of her young child.  She's presently being represented by a court-assigned lawyer who doesn't seem to care about the case, and she has very few resources left at this point. Her next hearing is on Thursday.

If you know a good lawyer in New York State who might be willing to take this case for a low fee or pro bono, or at least offer her advice or support, please let me know. If you don't know anyone, please repost this far and wide. As a mother and an abuse survivor, it makes me absolutely sick to my stomach to contemplate a child being left in the hands of an abuser.

I can be reached at kythryne@gmail.com if you have any leads or want to help.

The internet can work miracles. Let's go.

flawed_karma: (Default)
And it's come to that time of year again. The Annual Fall Friend's List Clean Up!

Have we grown apart? Do we no longer talk? Have our fandom interests diverged and as a result, our chats in comments and on AIM stopped?

It's cool. We all grow and sometimes, our paths stop crossing. Anyone who wishes to defriend me has utter amnesty to do so. There will be no drama, no whining, no BAWWW'ing over it.

Honestly, I'm not on LJ as much as I used to be, and when I do check in? My page is overwhelming, trying to catch up with friends and family. And since I have so little in common with some of you, it's time to prune the list to make it more manageable.

It's not you, it's me. I don't have the time to chase after people, remind them I exist, force them into friendships they're not interested in maintaining. I'm also, frankly, not interested in the minutia of new, shiny fandoms many folks have moved on to and it's all they talk about now. Just like I am -sure- some of you are sick of my health issues or hearing about my dogs.

I'm not going to demand you filter your entries or anything stupid. That's just entitled bitchism! I feel we honestly don't have enough in common anymore to keep being LJ friends.

So if you find, suddenly, you're off the list, please. Don't be offended. I'm simply making my life easier by cutting down on the deluge of posts.

I truly have valued our time together, we've had some great times and made beautiful pixel memories.

This post is being left unlocked and comments enabled so if you feel you were removed in error, you can let me know. I'm not infallible, (noooo, really?!) and will likely click a couple names I shouldn't.

<3 to you all!
flawed_karma: (Default)
Originally posted by [livejournal.com profile] becky_h at Saving Furry Friends Fundraising Raffle .
Saving Furry Friends is a 5013c rescue, located in Southwest Virginia. We have saved more than 400 animals in the past two years, with the help of our 1990 Cargo van. The van blew out it's oil pump last night, and the engine seized. References from our vet and animal control are available upon request.

In an effort to raise funds for our new van, Saving Furry Friends will be holding an online raffle for a 200.00 gift card to PetSmart. The card will be good *anywhere* there is a PetSmart, and at Petsmart online. Drawing will be held December 1st, 2010.

For a 5.00 donation, you will have your name 'put into the hat' once. For a 9.00 donation you will be entered twice, and for 12.00 3 times. 15.00 will get you an even four chances, and save you a full $5.00 over entering separately. There is no limit to number of times you may enter.

Please be aware that if we do not sell at least 50 chances (or 250.00), there will be no raffle.

You may enter here: This chip-in is separate, and donating through it will automatically enter you into the drawing. Drawing will be done on December 1st by random number generator and overseen by two of SFF's board members to ensure that everyone has a fair chance at winning.

The winner will be announced and contacted via email on December 1st.

Win a gift card, save some lives. It doesn't get better than that.

This entry is left unlocked for cross-posting purposes. If you feel comfortable doing so, please boost the signal. Any questions can be left here or emailed to me at bhoadley@gmail.com.

flawed_karma: (Default)


ETA - the video is not mine, it's a viral thing floating around the web. It just reminded me of my Oncle, and was important to the anecdote I was relating.

My great uncle survived Dachau, after being sent there for being part of the Belgian Resistance. He loved this song.

Imagine, if you would, a bent and broken sixty six year old man with a disfigured leg and hands, limping heavily and using a cane, dancing awkwardly and painfully to this song, with tears of joy in his eyes.

"I survived," he'd tell me, voice choked with emotion. "For myself, for the friends lost, for the children killed, I will dance. And in dancing, they will be remembered."

Trust me, it sounded way better and more poetic in Flemish.

I was six the first time I saw him dance to this song. I was twelve when he died.

And each time I hear that song, I think of Oncle Jacques. I remember him, his stories, the tales he told of his friends. I think of his promise to always remember.

And then, since he's gone, I remember for him.
flawed_karma: (Default)


ETA - the video is not mine, it's a viral thing floating around the web. It just reminded me of my Oncle, and was important to the anecdote I was relating.

My great uncle survived Dachau, after being sent there for being part of the Belgian Resistance. He loved this song.

Imagine, if you would, a bent and broken sixty six year old man with a disfigured leg and hands, limping heavily and using a cane, dancing awkwardly and painfully to this song, with tears of joy in his eyes.

"I survived," he'd tell me, voice choked with emotion. "For myself, for the friends lost, for the children killed, I will dance. And in dancing, they will be remembered."

Trust me, it sounded way better and more poetic in Flemish.

I was six the first time I saw him dance to this song. I was twelve when he died.

And each time I hear that song, I think of Oncle Jacques. I remember him, his stories, the tales he told of his friends. I think of his promise to always remember.

And then, since he's gone, I remember for him.
flawed_karma: (Default)
River now has her own fan page on Facebook. Feel free to join if you love the doofus.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/River-the-Service-Dog/118026551551711
flawed_karma: (Default)
River now has her own fan page on Facebook. Feel free to join if you love the doofus.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/River-the-Service-Dog/118026551551711
flawed_karma: (Default)
This journal is Friends Only.

Why? I'm the first to admit my life isn't that interesting. I don't do great things and I'm not some celeb, or important person. I'm just plain old me. But I do like my privacy and I've had stalkers who have not appreciated my views on many topics come to my journal and start problems.
  • I care who reads my words.
  • I care to have a small group of friends I know and that know me.
  • My LJ-Friends know and share my interests.
  • I know or have met many of my LJ friends in real life.
If you'd like to friend me, please comment below and say why. Did you read one of my fics, or like the training advice I offered for your dog? Did I post something meaningful somewhere, or maybe we chatted in comments somewhere?

Tell me where you "met" me and why you think we'd be good friends.

I prefer quality to quantity.

Thank you,

[personal profile] flawed_karma 

Why is that my user name? I'm imperfect, flawed. And it is my destiny to overcome my flaws and become a better person. Just not today.


flawed
/flɔd/ Flawed
Pronunciation [flawd]
–adjective
characterized by flaws; having imperfections: a flawed gem; a seriously flawed piece of work.

kar⋅ma
/ˈkɑrmə/  Karma
Pronunciation [kahr-muh]
–noun
1.  Hinduism, Buddhism. action, seen as bringing upon oneself inevitable results, good or bad, either in this life or in a reincarnation: in Hinduism one of the means of reaching Brahman. Compare bhakti (def. 1), jnana.
2.  Theosophy. the cosmic principle according to which each person is rewarded or punished in one incarnation according to that person's deeds in the previous incarnation.
3.  fate; destiny.
4.  the good or bad emanations felt to be generated by someone or something.
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 

flawed_karma: (Dogs -  tennis balls)

This is River, looking unusually cute and not at all evil.
Get Recruited Here )
flawed_karma: (Dog - River DOOM)
Day 3 began with River bringing out more toys for her backyard battalion.

The Baby Pool Navy is going along very well, she has a lot of branches and sticks floating and barks orders at them constantly.

Today she reviewed her Backyard Battalion, pacing back and forth and barking occasionally. The toys (over a dozen!) were lined up, more or less.

Morale plummeted when the line was broken due to another officer stealing some of the troops. (Brandy stole a toy, Faith reclaimed Grumpers)

The Butterfly Air Force continues to take heavy casualties. River keeps eating them.

The Clam Shells are greatly missed. She managed to unearth one, heaven knows how, and that stands in her stead with the Backyard Battalion when she is off training the Navy or eating the Air Force.

My puppy is insane.

River Redux

May. 8th, 2007 11:47 am
flawed_karma: (Dog - River DOOM)
River loved her Clam Shell Army so much that she has now conscripted every branch and toy in the yard into her new ground troops.

She would have a Butterfly Air Force but she eats them.

My dog is obviously on crack.
flawed_karma: (Dog - River DOOM)
Today was a lovely 70 degrees and hubby got home from work early. So we decided to take River out to the beach for her first adventure in the water.

Oh, did she have fun!

Not only was she unafraid of the water, she learned quickly how to use the waves to her advantage when bringing in her baby bumper, one of the neon orange retrieval dummies.

And not only did she have fun with that, but she gathered nearly every clam shell in a 30' radius of where we were and amassed a tremendous clam shell army. The shells were carefully piled together by the shore's edge and whenever one went AWOL due to the tide, she hunted it down, put it with the others and barked at it.

When she failed to gather enough clam shell recruits, the driftwood was quickly pressed into service.

One toss of her dummy netted a 30' throw, and she stopped at the 15' mark, grabbed a BIG piece of driftwood and dragged it to her army encampment, then went back out and brought in the dummy.

I was in hysterics.

She dug trenches, made moats around her shells, enjoyed driftwood walls. It was the funniest thing I have ever seen.

I can't wait to take her back.

And now my little River baby is asleep at my feet, exhausted from a few hours of swimming, retrieving, and keeping those rebellious clam shells in line. *grin*